Stop Engaging with Intrusive Thoughts & Continue Living Your Day
Intrusive thoughts can be overwhelming, especially for moms navigating the challenges of pregnancy, postpartum, and everyday life with young children. If you're reading this, you're likely familiar with those sudden, unwelcome thoughts that pop into your mind, leaving you feeling anxious, guilty, or stuck in a loop. But what if there was a way to stop giving these thoughts power and go about your day as usual? In this blog post, I’ll share practical strategies rooted in Inference-Based Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (ICBT) and Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT) to help you navigate intrusive thoughts while continuing to live your life.
1. Understanding Intrusive Thoughts Through ICBT
ICBT explains intrusive thoughts as misinterpretations of normal, everyday doubts. For moms, these doubts can take the form of "What if I harm my baby?" or "What if I'm a bad mother?" Instead of taking these thoughts at face value, ICBT encourages us to recognize that intrusive thoughts arise from mistaken conclusions.
Doubt isn't proof. When intrusive thoughts arise, ICBT suggests that these are false alarms—your brain’s way of misinterpreting a common doubt. Recognizing this can help you disengage from the need to analyze, question, or resolve these thoughts.
What you can do: When an intrusive thought comes up, remind yourself that this is simply a thought, not a reflection of reality. You don't need to argue with it or seek reassurance. For example, if you think, “What if something bad happens to my baby?” instead of engaging with the thought, say to yourself, “This is just a doubt, not a fact.”
2. Practicing Cognitive Defusion with ACT
Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT) takes a different approach by helping us stop fighting the thought altogether. ACT teaches us to practice cognitive defusion, which means stepping back and seeing the thought for what it is—a string of words or an image in your mind—without attaching meaning or truth to it.
Thoughts are just thoughts. ACT emphasizes that we don't need to believe, argue, or even change our thoughts. Intrusive thoughts, even when they feel threatening, are simply part of the human experience.
What you can do: When an intrusive thought pops up, instead of saying “I need to stop thinking this” or “Why am I having this thought?” try observing the thought as if it were a cloud passing in the sky. You can say, “I’m noticing the thought that I’m a bad mom,” without judgment or attachment to its truth.
3. Returning to Your Values: ACT in Action
One of the cornerstones of ACT is focusing on living a values-driven life. This means, even when you experience intrusive thoughts or anxiety, you can choose actions that align with your values—such as being present for your child, engaging in activities you love, or caring for yourself.
Take action based on your values, not your thoughts. You may have intrusive thoughts telling you that you’re not a good mother, but your values (like nurturing your child, being compassionate, and engaging in family activities) tell a different story.
What you can do: When intrusive thoughts arise, acknowledge them, then gently redirect your attention to what you were doing. For example, if you were playing with your child and an intrusive thought interrupted, let the thought be there without trying to get rid of it, and return to the moment with your child. Remind yourself, "I’m choosing to focus on my values of connection and presence, not this passing thought."
Dealing with intrusive thoughts as a mom can be exhausting, but you don’t have to engage with every thought that comes your way. Through ICBT and ACT, you can learn to step back, recognize the false alarms of intrusive thoughts, and stay focused on what truly matters: living a life aligned with your values and being the mom you know you are, regardless of what your mind might tell you.
Remember, the key to disengaging from intrusive thoughts is to accept their presence without letting them dictate your actions. With practice, you’ll find that these thoughts lose their grip, and you can enjoy more peace and fulfillment in your daily life.
Rooting for you,
Taylor
